Log in

No account? Create an account


hip hop & violence

hip hop & violence

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
There’s been a lot of talk this year about how hip-hop causes violence and is connected to crime and, quite frankly, I’m getting tired of the debate around this issue.  I’d like to put my two cents in.

Now, those of you who are familiar with my reputation are probably thinking that I’m gonna try to defend this hip-hop stuff. No sir. In fact, I commend all journalists for making even the most outlandish links between hip-hop and violence in this town and further, I’ll verbally stomp people for criticizing them.

For example, there was an article on seattlepi.com that reported a shooting on First Avenue on August 10th. The article also mentioned that a hip-hop show featuring Devin The Dude was scheduled to perform a block away from the incident. What shocked me were the comments that people made in response to this article on the website. Individuals from the community were talking all types of shit about how these two things—a shooting and a hip-hop show scheduled a block away—had nothing to do with each other! Were these people trying to defend hip-hop? Why?! Can’t they recognize that hip-hop is clearly a driving force behind violence?

I decided to conduct my own investigation of the matter with local musician and comedian Ahamefule Oluo.  It may surprise some of you that we turned up evidence clearly implicating hip-hop’s ties to several reported and unreported crimes in the Beacon Hill neighborhood. What follows is a photo journal of our sleuthing.

A resident on Pearl Street told us of an incident that occurred last June. What began as an argument over a parking spot between two men, escalated into an altercation that ended with one of the men getting stabbed in the eye with a fork.

Although a written confession and thirteen witness accounts of the incident gathered by police all corroborate this story, we dug deeper and found that the culprit had a cousin who was a rapper with a mixtape scheduled for release two weeks later. Hmm, did somebody say hip-hop?

We visited a corner store just a few blocks from Pearl Street and interviewed a clerk who worked there.

A man the police claimed to have been a “drug addict” stealing money to “pay for drugs” had robbed the store at gunpoint in May. When pressed for more information, the clerk repeatedly told us the crime had been solved and the perpetrator was in jail… but was he? Or was it?

After looking around the building for just 10 minutes we discovered graffiti on the wall! Proof that hip-hop was connected!

KIDNAPPING: Earlier that day, there was a child reported missing. He was last seen riding his bike at the Maplewood Play Field.

My colleague and I went to the scene to find nothing but a lonely bicycle accompanied only by the absence of a child’s laughter…

…and a boombox! An item dearly coveted by none other than HIP-HOP! We could smell it in the air.

Just when we thought the evidence against hip-hop couldn’t be more convincing, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. It was a tree.

A dead tree. Could it be… foul play? I shuddered to think of how this unwitting tree had its youth cut short by a murderous villain.

No… it can’t be… dare I look?

Just beyond the thicket we found…

heavily-sampled records from the 70’s! I couldn’t believe my eyes, and yet, I couldn’t deny the evidence that the death of this tree was inextricably linked to hip-hop. Possibly even local hip-hop.

Back home, an online investigation uncovered more evidence of hip-hop’s indisputable connections to assassination, insider trading, and crimes against humanity.

As far as I’m concerned, the media is on the right track with this one. Keep searching for the truth with the same integrity you’ve exhibited thus far, my friends! There will be no rest for the weary until we have pigeonholed hip-hop as the root of evil it is and gotten it safely away from our streets and the ears of our children.

In the meantime, check masslinemedia.com for my forthcoming dissertation on how Nas’ “Illmatic” is riddled with secret codes mapping how hip-hop plans to melt the polar ice caps.

  • I can't believe no one commented on this!

    This shit is hilarious, ha! I might have to report this once I pick a font and finally have the greatest blog ever.

    Bryan from formerly musicplustv
  • Loved it!!!

    Genius writing!

    Hey, I just got the album "Bayani" at work today. This is great hip-hop. I'm totally feeling this... I hope you guys blow up.

    Come play LA early 2008!!!!

  • Hilarious

    This is like the 15th time I've read this. Whenever I need a laugh...although the underlying point is certainly profound! Thanks again Sabzi!
  • Hysterical!

    That's some funny shit! Especially the "records in the thicket".
Powered by LiveJournal.com